The Xmen Present: Persephone
by Chellerbelle
Summary: The story of Persephone, X-men style. Includes cast and narrator commentary. Just for laughs.


**AN: **

_Persephone_ was requested by:

XOXheartAmy  
Anna Marcia Gregorio  
Gemini (anonymous)

* * *

Logan, king of the gods and the beautiful nature goddess Ororo had a daughter, the equally beautiful Anna Marie.

* * *

"Goddesses are always beautiful," Gambit said. "It's in the job description."

"Okay so, I'm Persephone," said Rogue, "Storm's Demeter and Logan is Zeus?"

**Right.**

* * *

Anna Marie was well sought after by potential suitors, but Ororo hid her away.

Undeterred and determined to make Anna Marie his bride, Remy, god of the underworld, found where Ororo had hidden her daughter. He waited patiently until Anna Marie was alone and abducted her.

* * *

"Which makes me Hades," Gambit said. "Well, I guess I'm not called Le Diable Blanc for nothing, right?"

"It's because you're a hell-raiser," Rogue said with a grin.

* * *

As soon as Ororo realised her beloved daughter was missing, she immediately started looking for her. She searched high and low and asked everyone if they had seen Anna Marie. At last she heard the news that Remy was the one responsible for Anna Marie's disappearance. Immediately she went to Logan to beseech him to get her daughter back.

* * *

"And obviously I go storming into Hades, shish-kebob Gambit's Cajun ass and take Rogue back," Logan said.

**Sorry Logan, but that's not how the myth goes. Actually like all myths there are some variations but in none of them does Zeus go to Hades.**

"Damn."

**In fact, in one variation, Hades went to Zeus first and got his permission.**

"Like hell," Logan said, practically growling.

"I think that's the point, mon ami," Gambit replied.

* * *

However, when Logan refused, Ororo was angered. The world became cold and cruel, and crops wouldn't grow. Seeing that their people were in danger, Logan agreed to send Warren, messenger for the gods to Hades to seek out Remy.

"Warren!" Anna Marie exclaimed when she laid eyes on him. "Please tell me you're here to rescue me."

"Yes," Warren replied, and turned to Remy who was relaxing on his throne. "Logan, king of the gods, commands you to release Anna Marie and return her to her mother."

"Nah, I've become rather fond of her," Remy replied. "I think I'll keep her."

* * *

"Typical," Rogue said.

"Don't hear you complaining, chere," Gambit replied.

"Never said I was complaining. I said it was typical."

* * *

"This is not a negotiation," Warren said firmly. "Anna Marie is to return to the surface, provided, of course, that she hasn't eaten anything."

Remy smirked and the colour drained from Anna Marie's face. Warren regarded their reactions with raised eyebrows.

"I fear I have eaten just six pomegranate seeds, just today," Anna Marie admitted.

"I see," said Warren. "I shall have to speak to Logan."

* * *

"Six pomegranate seeds can't be that filling," said Kitty.

"She's a goddess," Gambit replied. "Why does she even need to eat?"

"Good point."

* * *

Thus it was that Warren returned to Logan, Ororo and the other gods and goddesses, and told them what had transpired. It was decided that henceforth, Anna Marie would spend half the year with Remy and the other half with Ororo. Ororo was still not happy with this arrangement and therefore while Anna Marie was in Hades, the land would be could and bitter; but while Anna Marie was with her, the land would be green and full of life.

* * *

**Some stories say that Persephone couldn't leave completely because once you ate food in Hades you were stuck there. I also heard one story where they considered that Persephone eating in Hades was a sign that she hadn't rejected him completely and another where she ate the seeds deliberately to get out from under her mother's thumb.**

"Sneaky girl," Gambit said.

Rogue shrugged.

"I don't like this story," said Logan. "I was Rogue's _father_ and Gambit _abducted_ her and I didn't get to skewer him."

**You know what's worse?**

"Do I _want_ to know what's worse?" asked Logan.

**Zeus and Hades are brothers.**

"So... Hades married his niece?" Gambit said.

"Yeah well," Rogue said dryly. "They're pretty promiscuous and free with the incest in mythology."

"I'm not related to that low-life," Logan practically growled.

"God of the underworld, low-life, that's a terrible pun, mon ami," Gambit said.


End file.
